The Shell

On a cool breezy afternoon, I dragged myself out of the house and got behind the steering of my small red car, to go to the gym. I took the shortest route to reach my destination, windows of the car rolled down. On the way an old acquaintance noticed me and shouted my name out. I stopped the vehicle. The friend came over from the other side of the road and greeted me, heartily. We struck an immediate conversation, although I didn’t get down from the car. The smile on his face widened with each memory about the past, but I remained passive during most parts of the chit chat. Soon he realised my lack of interest and withdrew himself, gently. He waved goodbye and I drove ahead, rolling the windows down.

After the workout, drenched in sweat, I got back into the car, kept the windows open, again. As I drove past a departmental store, I saw my distant cousin getting out of it. I guess she noticed me, (perhaps hoping for a lift or maybe just a small conversation) but I pretended to not have seen her, and continued to drive. Having no intensions of returning home early, I opted to take the longer route. I shut the windows, put on the air conditioner and the car tape, and started humming as I passed a few concrete structures. I kept shuffling songs on the stereo while I stopped at the signal waiting for the light to go green. Just then, a familiar girl strode past on the right. She was my muse, my secret love interest (whom I hadn’t met in ages), and wondered whether I could talk to her. She seemed to be in no hurry to walk, and as the light went green I was almost parallel to her, driving slow along the footpath. I could’ve stopped but didn’t, and reluctantly sped up. Despite the fact that my home was just a couple of kilometres away, the way back felt long, and lonesome. And just then, I caught sight of a wretched man, a bottle of alcohol in one of his hands, and a dagger in the other, chasing another man from across the road. The man with the weapon splinched the second man’s arm and stabbed a blow on the chest. He took off, and the wounded man collapsed just about 3 feet away from my vehicle. Once again I did not get down off the small red car, and just like before, drove away, leaving the man to breathe his last.

As I reached home, I felt suffocated. I felt uneasy and just lied on the bed. It dawned upon me that all the events that had occurred on the way to the gym and back, had an emotional bearing on me. I felt angry for being uninterested while talking to my old friend, felt sad for not helping my cousin by being lazy, felt hopeless for not talking to my love interest because of hesitation and felt shameful for not getting down to help the wounded man because of fear. All this just because I did not get out of my small red car, my shell.

This is what we do majority of times; repent for something which we could’ve done had we come out of our shells. Fear, hesitation, doubt, laziness all of these make us get into the shell and situations worsen as time passes. I guess it’s prudent to face a situation the very first time so that the next time we’re armed and alert to deal with things in a better way, just like before. 

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – Part 1 (Analysed)

-------------------------------------Contains Spoilers-------------------------------------------


Well I wouldn’t bother to mention the story here as the whole world by now knows what the film is all about. However, for those who haven’t read the books, this part 1 of the epic finale is about how the trio of Harry, Ron and Hermione leave their comfort zones and set out on the hunt for the Horcruxes (things in which Voldemort has concealed a parts of his soul). During their journey they face all kinds of challenges, emotional as well as dangerous, and also learn about the tale of the Deathly Hallows.

Now let me get straight to the point. The film sets the dark tone right from the word ‘go’; this perhaps is the darkest film in the series. David Yates and Steve Kloves have tried to be absolutely faithful to the book and they succeed to do so with all the major sequences present in the film almost ditto to the book. This is the first brownie point for the duo. The telling is a little different from the rest of the Potter films though, as this time Hogwarts is nowhere in the scheme of things. The film cannot be assessed completely, I believe, as it’s not complete, not even in itself. Thus I think it’d be only fair to assess the whole of Deathly Hallows Parts 1 and 2, combined. However, this is my take on what I felt about DH-Part 1.

Acting: The film fully belongs to the trio. The young brigade’s hard work shows; particularly Rupert Grint, who plays Ron with complete élan. Dan, Rupert and Emma prove that they’re capable of lifting the burden of the entire film on their young shoulders. They manage to grab eyeballs even when only one of them is on screen. They’ve done a marvelous job and this is the best combined effort of the three, by far. Other notable performances are that of Helena Bonham Carter as the nasty Bellatrix Lestrange (she’s superb at belittling), and the menacing Dark Lord (Ralph Fiennes).

Cinematography: Eduardo Serra had a greater challenge on hand than the past cinematographers of the series as this time majority of the action happens in the exteriors. The Portuguese has taken some exceptional shots involving landscapes, barren lands and woods. He’s done a great job especially in the Malfoy Manor and Godric’s Hollow scenes. Some of the shaky cam shots are brilliant.

Music: I for one didn’t quite like Alexandre Desplat’s music; perhaps I was too engrossed in the telling and the visuals. But I can surely say there’s nothing extraordinary about it. However, the very first soundtrack, Obliviate, is a gem. 

Editing: Mark Day has done a fine job by cutting the scenes at crucial points where the telling becomes more than effective. It’s contemporary and gives the feel of edginess and anxiety.

Screenplay:  Steve Kloves has woven the most important and intriguing situations and detailed them so well that you live virtually every moment of it and yet do not get even a wee bit bored. The scenes are weighed so perfectly in all terms that the film doesn’t falter anywhere; you get a full dose of every genre.

Direction: There could’ve been no other better director than David Yates to direct this one; simply because of two strong reasons. 1) He’s a master when it comes to emotions, which is the most important factor in DH-Part 1 with the trio put in all sorts of situations. And 2) Because he’s already worked with the cast in OOTP and HBP, therefore he knows exactly what could be extracted from each individual. Besides, his take on the majority of the sequences is untainted and enriching. This one is a class act by Yates.

Highlights

1.      They’ve shown Hermione’s house for the first time.

2.      All the Death Eaters at the table.

3.      Fred and George’s short but effective comic relief.

4.      The entire Ministry of Magic sequence involving the trio.

5.      Harry and Ron’s fight.

6.      The Harry and Hermione dance in the absence of Ron.

7.      Destroying the locket.

8.      The Tale of Three Brothers visuals and narration.

9.      Dobby (A tear trickled down my cheek when he died).

10.  Malfoy Manor confrontation.

Lows

1.      The aerial fight in the 7 Potters scene could’ve been better.

2.      Voldemort missing from the Bathilda Bagshot/ Nagini scene at Godric’s Hollow.

3.      Mad Eye’s death has been given no significance. (I hope Snape has a better death)

4.      Pettigrew doesn’t die, forget the silver hand.

5.      None of the Order members appear ever again, after the trio leaves the burrow.

However, I feel these lows are too weak to shatter the greatness of this epic. In short, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – Part 1 is spectacular and full of entertainment good enough to keep you at the edge of your seats and your eyes glued to the big screen for the 142 minutes. It’s worth watching twice and even thrice. On a second thought, how about 7 times!!!!

Toying With Love

I was seated in the comfort of my chair, and was sipping on some hot coffee from my favourite blue mug, as it showered heavily outside. I looked out through the window and noticed a couple walk by, cuddling, under a rainbow coloured umbrella, which I assume belonged to the feminine. I felt butterflies in my stomach. It was the ideal romantic evening, the one on which you’d like to go out for a long drive with your loved one, romantic Bollywood numbers playing on your car stereo, or perhaps a long walk on a deserted beach. Since I wasn’t fortunate enough to do any of that, I resorted to my sofa and took another sip of the piping hot coffee. Curled up, I pressed the remote button and put on the TV. I couldn’t find anything appealing and kept flipping the channels until a reality show caught my attention.

Emotional Atyachar on UTV’s Bindaas, is a show based on testing the fidelity of the concerned. The show goes like this…. A committed person (Lead) approaches the channel to do a so called Loyalty Test on his/her better half (Suspect). The channel keeps a tag on the Suspect and his/her activities with the help of the latest, technologically advanced hidden cameras, after setting up a co-incidental meeting between him/her and an Undercover Agent . This Undercover Agent, a person from the opposite sex, is employed by the channel to strike a bond with the Suspect and lure him/her. The cameras cover the journey from persuasion to the start of a new relationship over a period of six days, during which the Suspect’s lewd character is revealed. On the sixth day, the Lead is called to the studios and is shown all the six days’ footage by the anchor. Thus, the Lead assesses the Suspect’s trustworthiness on the basis of the recorded footage. Generally, the Lead ends up drenched in tears, or on a furious high, till he/she reaches the sixth day’s footage. At this point the Lead is shown the live footage of the Suspect and the Undercover Agent, and is taken immediately to that place for confrontation.  

The Lead launches a war of (swear) words, sometimes even a physical combat, with the Suspect, and the two end their relationship. All of this, on national television.

This show, since its commencement, has been a topic of debate for more than one reason. Many have ridiculed the vulgarity aspect, while some have written about the unauthorised access to the Suspect’s life. I’ve also read and seen views questioning the show’s authenticity and degree of genuineness. Agreed, most of these aspects need to be considered from several viewpoints. However, these things do not matter much when we see the larger picture (which many have failed to address); and no, the larger picture isn’t about saving one’s life from a hell bent rogue. It’s about spreading negativity and encouraging skepticism, especially amongst the youth, towards love and relationships.

Every other day, we see, read or hear about a case of disloyalty, broken relationships and even divorces. Many years ago these things were pretty uncommon and perhaps even unheard of. I know times have changed and people have learnt to move on for good, but this shift has also brought unwelcomed changes. One of them is the drop in people’s tolerance levels. What once was considered a great virtue is now rarely found in the present generation and its scheme of things.  

We are living in mad times where break ups are happening at an alarming rate, and life of solitariness is a road to grief.I know the participants of such television shows typically hail from the ‘not so good’ families, or have inferior moral standards. But there are also some who take such a stern step out of sheer helplessness or depression. Besides, these shows also unfold the truth and the partakers get some sort of justice. Celebrities have also started making appearances on shows like Emotional Atyachar. Thus, anyone could get tempted to go on the show. Which is why I think something that instills faith, especially in love, and spreads the positivity of a relationship at a mass level, should be aired rather than shows which glorify tales of infidelity and lead to suspicion, particularly now when we relationships are falling apart. This might help reduce the distrust among people and they might soon again start believing in the power of love and relationships.

Think about it and let me know if you think likewise or otherwise. Love you all unconditionally.

Film Review - Inception

Following, Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige and, The Dark Knight; after you make such mind boggling films which are a combination of fantastic complex cinema and breathtaking entertainment, the audience expects something even better, and you’re bound to end up scratching your head, running short of ideas. But, Christopher Nolan is one such man whose excellence has no boundaries; his creativity never seems to drain out.

It all starts at a sea shore. Dom Cobb (Leonardo Di Caprio), is found unconscious by an armed guard, who takes him to a rich, elderly man’s chamber. The old man recognises Cobb at once but Cobb does not. Next, we know that Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state. He and his friend Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) are assigned by a company in England to extract secrets from a Japanese bigwig, Saito’s (Ken Watanabe) mind. It turns out that Saito knew about Cobb’s plans and was in turn auditioning the team for his own mission. He offers Cobb a one last job, against a competitor company inherited by Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy), this time creating the whole idea and dream, known as Inception. The reward: Lots of money and a clean chit for Cobb to go back to the US, as he is not allowed to enter the nation (reason revealed later in the film). So Cobb now starts assembling a team along with Arthur. He recruits a new architect, a student named Ariadne (Ellen Page), who creates the dream world architecture. Then, Eames (Tom Hardy), a forger who can shift his identity inside the dream, and, Yusuf (Dileep Rao), a chemist who formulates the sedatives needed to enter the dream world. Throughout the recruitment process, the rules of entering the dream world, surviving there and coming out are explained. The main plot is about how this team tries to enter Fischer’s mind and if they succeed in their heist.

If you found this story exciting and complex, it is just 10% of the entire film. Inception is full of surprises right from the beginning, one of them is the subtitles, which I think the Indian distributors wanted to incorporate not because of the varied accents but they wanted the Indian audience not to miss out on even the minutest details. The build up to each stage of the film is fascinating. The cast is awesome throughout, especially Leonardo Di Caprio and Ellen Page. Although, Marion Cotillard’s character Mal (Cobb’s wife) has not got a great scope in the film, she’s done well. The high scale cinematography is stunning, while the editing is crisp and sharp. And the background score adds a cherry on the top. But the main hero of the film is the Inceptor of the idea, the film’s creator, Christopher Nolan. His storytelling is compelling and innovative to the core. He has weaved the magic of this dream world in the most believable manner almost effortlessly, combining visual extravaganza with intellectual brilliance. Writing something like this is challenging, and executing it is more so; but Nolan's done it with ease. There are some sequences in the film that he has designed simply to sweep people off their feet. That this man is the best filmmaker today, is incontrovertible.

Inception is a treat for those who love their minds to be questioned by the filmmaker, those who love to be involved right from the first frame of the film, and those who are ardent fans of the sci-fi/thriller/mystery/action genres. You really wouldn’t want to watch this one with a lover. Please don’t watch if you thought you could keep your brains locked at home and enjoy. The only loophole in the film is the interval which is like a speed-breaker that spoils your 300 kmph drive on the expressway. They should screen this one without an interval.

Certainly the best movie of the decade contender followed by The Dark Knight. For me, it’s way better than Avatar, as Cameron took a 12-13 years long break before he came out with the 3D spectacle with a less interesting story. With Nolan, it was just a matter of exactly 2 years to make this flawless film. This one's beyond the reach of our film industry. Hail Christopher Nolan!!!!

Rating: 5/5

Film Review - Prince: It's Showtime

Warning: Contains some innocuous spoilers

This week was sort of a comeback week. I’m making a comeback to The Intellectual Kiosk after exactly a month, Shoaib Malik and his would be wife Sania Mirza, were back to the front pages of the tabloids and caught all the eyeballs certainly for reasons other than their sporting proficiencies (have doubts about Ms. Mirza’s proficiency though), and a certain Mr. Viveik Oberoi made a colossal comeback to the silver screen as the solo lead, and how.

Well, the story (haha) of Prince begins at a huge diamond corporation (in Hiranandani), Mumbai. The so called world’s best, an international thief, Prince (Viveik Oberoi), breaks in, and with the help of his friends (who’re outside the building in a van with all the fancy gadgetry), steals several diamonds. All of this, in the Minority Report and Mission Impossible style. Next we see newspaper flashes of various heists in different parts of the world. (This is how our hero is an international thief) And there comes O Mere Khuda! with titles. Next, we go 3 months ahead in time and we see some super locations of Durban, South Africa, and amidst a beautiful countryside scenery is an exotic villa in which the same Prince is lying on the bed (wish he never got up). His irritating servant tells him how he got there but our hero remembers not even a bit. There he goes trying to gather every bit of vital information that could lead him to his real identity and reveal the deadly secrets (LOL). Prince comes across 3 women (Niroo Bajwa/ Nandana Sen/Aruna Shields), all of whom claim to be Maya, his girlfriend. The CBI, lead by Sanjay Kapoor, is after him; the IGRIP (Indian Government Research and Protocol), lead by Dalip Tahil is after him; the 3 women are after him and so is the villain (some Mimoh look alike) (Soon the distributors and the audiences will be after him, too). We gain the ‘essential’ knowledge that they are chasing him in order to fetch a 3,000 years old ancient Sri Lankan coin, (which he stole as an antique) within which is concealed a chip which our Indian scientists made after 8 painstaking years. The chip, capable of erasing and reloading memory from human brain is the reason behind Prince’s loss of memory (wish I had a similar chip to erase my memory of watching Prince). In the rest of the movie we see thousands of bullets being fired collectively but none piercing the hero, parachutes and gliders moving around seamlessly (wonder how each time these characters managed to land with utter perfection), crashing cars and idiotic chase sequences. I wouldn’t even like to admit what happens in the end. The most irritating thing in the film is when the cast keeps uttering the film's tagline : It's Showtime.

The fact is that the makers gathered every possible failure from the industry, stuffed them in an attractive package and delivered the same with no shame. The makers right from the start assume that the viewers are outright dim wits and they could be fooled at every stage of storytelling. Viveik Oberoi has perhaps made the biggest mistake by signing this lucrative big budget film with a view to rise from the ashes. He was better off doing meaningful roles in a multi starrer. What can I say about the 3 women! Believe me; if any of the actresses (I’d like to call them something belittling but will have to observe my niceties) had a shred of self respect they would have rejected the roles first time they got the offer. All of them have nothing to do except creating some doubt in the minds of the viewers (that’s what the makers tried unsuccessfully), dance around in cheesy skimpy attire, and look foolish. Neeru Bajwa would regret quitting television soaps as she looks nothing more than an ugly oaf in this film. Nandana Sen is the curvaceous who is tattooed all over the body. As for Aruna Shields, she needs to work on her Hindi, her acting and be prepared to dub her own dialogues, then think of even signing a film. Total waste all of them. I think it would not even interest you to know how the rest of the cast has performed.

This one is a total waste of time, money, energy and perhaps even careers. A cheap attempt to make an action/thriller, a 2nd grade Hollywood action/thriller is a much better option than this one. I care less to split the review into the various aspects of film making as I had done for MNIK because there is not even a single point that acts as the saving grace. I would not be surprised to find everyone associated with the film muttering O Mere Khuda, Haadsa Ye Na Jaane Kab Hua!

And why I cared to write this review in the 1st place is because I wanted to save all of you, my loved ones, from experiencing something as atrocious. My friend Dhaval dozed off twice and was ready to leave in the interval. There were merely 25-30 people who had come to watch the show, and on a Saturday afternoon that is a poor number. Things are bound to get worse in the coming days. I hope after reading all this you shall not dare go to the theatres and if you still possess the courage then all the best. Bhagwan aapko bachaye.

Rating: 1.5/5

P.S.: Adi, once again I've written a review but I've saved you the pain of watching a horrendous film like Prince.

Hypo-Crisis

The following content might not be suitable for individuals below 18. Kindly read only if you are matured.

Welcome to India, the land of diverse cultures and religions, a country that basks in the glory of centuries of rich heritage and ancient traditions. Many foreign nations speak greatly about India and its diverse population, which we consider as a great asset. Over the years, we have been bragging about righteous living, be it Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs or Christians; those who believe in God and even the agnostics and atheists. We abstain from all vices and hate those who indulge in them, very good. We always have portrayed that we are the most simple, rooted and above all, moral and god fearing. However, there is something that bothers me about us Indians. I have a few agendas about the integrity of the very same citizens who claim to be righteously sane.

Almost every other day one or the other tabloid crops up with an article about an Indian beaten up in Australia and about the issues highlighted by racism in the rest of the world. Our activists thrive on these incidences and express trepidation; nothing wrong. But, have we given thought to our own racist conduct. Whenever parents go for potential bride/bridegroom hunting for their sons/daughters, majority of them have strong preferences, and one of them on the priority list is the preference of having a fair and bright skin prospect. And the most shocking thing is the very same society speaks ill of racism and bids for colour equality.

Sex and relationships is my absolute favourite as a topic to ponder on when it comes to Indian thoughts and practices about the same, and this is the primary reason why I am posting after a month. Dating is considered as a sin by a few and living in as a crime by most. People always think ill when they see a lad and girl hanging out together and then they say a boy and girl can never be ‘only friends’. Such great opposition against all of that whereas the same school is seen involved in extra-marital affairs and having a horrid past of multiple flings. Countless say they cannot bear the openness shown on television, and blame the media and actors for skin show, and banish such programs that they think are detrimental to the society on the whole. But the very same people are the most loyal clients of the porn industry. And the worse is to come.

My friend had once mentioned that the internet chat rooms of the most famous internet service provider are a fun place to visit. Just out of curiosity I tried it myself months back and found them rather odd. However, the curiosity of exploration pulled me in, so I went into one of the chatrooms some 25 days back after creating a different e-mail address and a fake identity. What I saw was completely shocking and bizarre. Just as I entered one of the Mumbai chatrooms, a host of people flooded my window with their IMs (Instant Messages), most of who seemed to be very friendly. However, just a 2 line conversation brought into light that they were looking for something beyond a casual chat or even friendship. Since my e-mail id is not gender suggestive they hoped that I was a female. There is this common procedure that I observed, they ask for ASL (Age/Sex/Location) and once I revealed that I am a male, several of them vanished with just a plain bye or even without a reply. However, a few remained and urged me to talk to them, either something raunchy or more straight-forwardly, they just reintroduced themselves as gays. Not only them, I also came across two transgenders and even bisexuals, some of them who offered online sex, while others were creatively putting forward a proposal of having a sexual encounter at their places, addresses of which they flashed in the open in the chatrooms. And this time I vanished too. I completely understand their urges as they are always looked down upon and completely chucked out of the society. Thus, they sought for the interested ones at such portals as they have nowhere to go. However, it was the behaviour of the straights that literally shook me. Men, and even women, openly offered such encounters, flashing their addresses and numbers. Some introduced themselves as housewives and uncles too, while some were college going teens. Hoards of working professionals also form a big participating group in there. I honestly did not want to speak to them but to know them I had to become one of them. Some women were nothing less than shameless and a disgrace, while a few others made me proud of them, as they refrained from involving in such a conversation. Some instances are so shocking that putting them in here will be inappropriate. After all this exploration and 15 odd nights of sheer filth and dirt I discovered that we are a society which has something on the face of it and is completely different from the inside. They operate on a portal where no one can identify them. Contrary to one of the most famous superheroes, Batman, they are fine in broad daylight and filth by night. And this is what aggravates me as the very same society curses the west for their so called offensive lifestyle. However, I find us at fault because the western nations have never claimed to be outright good. They portray what they are whereas I feel our country masks its underbelly and boasts about the traditions and culture, still clinging on the glory of the past.

There are several other things of this nature that one could see each day. Madhur Bhandarkar’s Page 3 is a first-rate example. But all this is not class specific, happens at every stratum of society. Everything clearly highlights our hypocrisy, double standards, two-facedness and duplicity. All this might seem to be familiar because it has been there since ages. It cannot be overlooked though as it is more of a crisis situation.

I think we need a serious dose of introspection and self assessment. Before pointing fingers at others, we need to look within and clean the dirt. Not all but many indulge in the very same vices for which they defame other nations. How is that logical? The demons do persist in each society, and it is difficult to wipe them off completely, but then one should have a clear conscience to blame others. After all, this is what is taught at school, isn’t it? I am a complete patriot and do not think ill of our country but when it comes to veracity, I think we need to be honest and truthful. That is when we shall truly be in a position to sing our own praises. What say, Youngistaan?

Film Review - My Name Is Khan

Well my friend Aditya Tibrewala is very good at writing reviews and has been posting quite a few on his blog but since I love SRK and this film touched me, I could least restrain myself from the enticement of writing my own review.

Rizwan Khan (Shahrukh Khan), suffering from a disorder, leaves India to settle with his brother (Jimmy Shergill) in San Francisco after his beloved mother’s (Zarina Wahab) death who taught him that there are two kind of people in the world, good and bad, and they do not have a religion. Unaware about his disorder’s precise details, Khan’s sister-in-law (Sonia Jehan) finds out the reason behind his plight and discovers that he suffers from Asperger’s syndrome, a state of Autism, in which the patient has a disorder of neural development characterised by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and recurring behaviour. He cannot tolerate loud sounds, and gets startled on seeing strong yellows. Rizwan works as a salesman for his brother’s company selling beauty products and comes across a salon employee and single mother, Mandira (Kajol Devgn), to whom he tries to sell the products with great honesty and inherent innocence. Mandira and Khan fall in love with each other, and the mother and son duo accept Khan with his ailment with open arms. The 9/11 debacle shatters the state of Muslims in the US. Inevitably, an unfortunate event occurs in the life of the Khan family and thus Khan sets out on a journey to meet the President. During his entire journey he meets some evil and some good people. The essence of the film is that despite suffering from a disorder it seems that Khan is saner than others, that goodness always prevails over the bad.

Story & Screenplay: First things first, the story seems to be clichéd and boring with a handicapped protagonist and the 9/11 backdrop, however the treatment of this film is entirely different than what other Indian films of this genre have been like. Shibani Bathija’s script has allegorical references and balanced characters. The entire Wilhelmina sequence in Georgia is written well (except for the rescue scene), and SRK’s character is well sketched.

Direction: Karan Johar has gone a step further than his usual style of storytelling which involves a heavy dose of romance, dance, songs and melodrama, most of which is missing in this one. He is triumphant in this attempt to make serious cinema. There are several sequences that he has taken care of perfectly well, especially Wilhelmina. You shall not say this is a signature Karan Johar film except for the hurricane rescue sequence. He has used his actors perfectly well and has got the best out of the Shahrukh-Kajol pair. KJo’s love for the USA is pretty evident through fine detailing.

Acting: Well what can I say about SRK! This perhaps is Shah Rukh Khan’s best performance till date and deserves a standing ovation simply because of his effortless work; believe me I am not being opinionated and biased. You may quite forget that it is the country’s number one superstar in front of your eyes. He without doubt manages to make you believe that he suffers from Autism. The sequence where he first introduces himself to Kajol, the monologue in the church in Wilhelmina and the interaction with Jimmy Shergill outside his house, are astonishingly performed. Hats off to him.

Kajol is in top form again. She has played her part exactly as one should and has supported Shah Rukh’s character quite well. One cannot challenge this Jodi in any way. The chemistry, romance and friendship between the two is all subtle and mesmerising.

Others like Jimmy Shergill, Sonia Jehan, Zarina Wahab, Parvin Dabbas, Tanay Chheda (younger Khan) and Yuvaan Makaar (Kajol’s son) are all impressive. The rest of the cast, both Asian and American have all done justice to their roles. Thus the acting department is top notch.

Cinematography: Ravi Chandran has shot this film magnificently. He has made everything look beautiful and pleasing. The interior scenes in Borivali are notably lit well along with hurricane and rain sequences in America.

Music: Well there is not much that can be said about Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy’s music. They have done an okay job with the film and the 3 songs. However, the Khan theme that keeps playing several times in the film is superb as is Sajda. You would not stop humming it. The background score is also fine.

All the other departments including Editing have done the job well and are in sync with the film.

Key Points

1. This film is not meant for those who look for hardcore entertainment in each scene. It is a sensible and straight forward serious film that principally caters to an international audience. The film’s graph, style and storytelling are perfectly fit for any successful Hollywood flick of this genre thus the conventional Indian audience might not completely identify with it.
2. As I told my family 11 months back, SRK shall sweep all the top awards next year for his performance in MNIK. You shall be compelled to love him in this film. The film belongs to him and he has indeed raised the bar.
3. For all those who like to draw comparisons, SRK’s performance is better than Aamir’s in 3 Idiots, simply because of the kind of role he plays, and that of Amitabh Bachchan’s in Paa, because as Mr. Bachchan himself said he could emote easily under the blanket of makeup whereas SRK did not have anything to hide his face under and could have got caught had he not performed this well.

I would not overrate this film as many have done by giving 5 on 5 but I give it 4/5 primarily because of the mindboggling performance by Shah Rukh and the honest and striving attempt to make serious cinema that has a larger audience cover. Catch it even if you are not a Shah Rukh fan because this one might just turn you into one.

X, Y and I.

X: Hey waddup chic? How’s life?

A girl dressed in a low neck top and jeans(Y) gets up from her chair, hugs the other girl in short spaghetti(X). They adjust themselves at the table.

Y: What took u so long?

X: A MotherF***** rammed into ma car. I went back home n drove here in mum’s Swift.

Y: Oh! You called the police?

X: Nope. I got da guy’s numba. Dad’s gonna screw his case.

Y: Ok. So, how’s everything? College and classes?

X: College? Wat’s dat? Bloody professors f*** ma brains ol da time. Same is da case wid da class fellas, total waste of time.

Y: And your guy?

X: Don ask, dat b******’s carryin on wid some oder chic. U know da gal from his gym I told ya about. He doesn’t know dat b**** had 4 guys before him. HAHAHAHA. (Laughs rather mockingly) Chuck it now. Where’s da hookah?

Y: Orange n mint, I asked the guy to get it. Hey where did you get that purse from?

X: Mango! Sale’s on.

Y: B****, you went without me.

X: Went with mum. Got 3 tees, 2 capes n a dress. And yeah, got this purse n a rockin’ pair of boots.

Y: But that’s too much. You got a couple of dresses from Saamsara last week, didn’t ya? Your old man must be pulling his hair out.

X: Not possible, he’s already lost all his hair. HAHAHAHA. Neways, Dolly n guys are going to Prive. She asked me too, you comin?

Y: No re, my dad’s gonna kill me. I reached home last Saturday, all drunk, at 2 a.m.

X: Arrey, so what? Tell him we’re havin a sleepover.

Y: Yeah I’ll try. BTW, here’s the f***** hookah. You’ve got light?

Y removes a cigarette from her purse and X removes a lighter.

Y: You gave up smoke, so where’d you get the lighter from?

X: It’s Abhi’s.

Y: Ohhhhhhhhh, Romeo’s souvenir. HAHAHAHAH

The waiter gets the hookah, and in some time also gets a plate full of French fries.

X: Arrey! You ordered fries? We’ve got Syra’s party comin up.

She blows a few rings with the hookah smoke and Y throws away the cigarette.

Y: Forget it. Don’t look now! That guy in black, sitting diagonally left is staring since long.

X turns around after 5 seconds, looks in the direction that Y mentioned and then turns back.

X: Handsome guy!

Y: Way better than Abhi. You wanna talk to him?

X: Nah, forget. Ma BB’s (BlackBerry) all screwed.

Y: Don’t change the topic, you liked him na?

X: Forget it!

Y: Hey, why you crying? S***, remembered him again?

X: Hmm.

Y: Arrey you’re nuts to cry for him. He left you for that b****.

X wipes a tear. ‘But I love him’.

Y: Gosh, what’s wrong with you? Wait I’ll take a pikcha. Will upload it on FB and tag you. Let people comment. Smile now, come on.

She takes a picture of her trying to smile.

Y: Chal, let’s finish the hookah and go to my place. We’ve got to get ready for Prive.

X adjusts her spaghetti straps and goes to the loo, while Y removes some currency notes and stacks them away under the tissue paper stand. X comes back from the washroom, hugs her friend and they both walk away smiling as guys on the left table stare their backs.

You might be wondering what all this talk is about. This is not a single experience but it is a sum total of the kind of conversations that I have come across in actuality during my recent visits to the so called ‘happening’ places. Thus, I have not named the characters because this chatter is not limited to certain individuals and groups. I have observed this is a common demeanour. Of course the degrees vary from an individual to another; just like there is a difference of behaviour, preferences, way of speaking, and thoughts, between X and Y.

The concerning issue here is that girls and women today behave in the way X and Y have. This is appalling, especially when they come from fine families and are educated in the best schools. The F word has now become an integral part of the lingo. Dating, two timing, smoking, drinking, flirting, not caring about what parents do and think, is quite frequent now. Not that enjoying is crime, but one should exercise caution. No no no, don’t think I am prejudiced; my female friends will vouch for me regarding the same. It is just that I am apprehensive about the Gen X. Then again, not all are the same but majority are detouring, may be because of peer pressure. Rest are alienated with ‘uncool’ and ‘behenji’ tags.

Moms at home remain convinced that their daughters do not indulge in vices of any kind. Fathers who sit in their offices, neck deep among all other tensions think greatly and intensely of their beloved daughters and their future. The harrowing influences of such behaviour on parents can be ghastly. Besides, women of this kind, who are supposed to raise the future generation, shall do no good to their own kids.

I am not trying to preach, but historically, Indian women have always been idols of sanctity and have preserved their grace and dignity. I mean why is that women have transformed, especially Indian women. No doubt we belong to a globalised civilization, and things are rapidly altering, but we men have remained unchanged; we were always dogs and still remain to be (barring a few of course). The problem is women (who according to me possess far more superior qualities and strengths, and are capable of changing men for good) have themselves changed for bad. Thus the future seems murky.

Think over girls, and guys too. Just what I have observed, correct me please if I’m wrong. Wrote this not to show women in a bad light but because I love and respect them, and am too worried.

21 – A Night Of Vivid Experiences

What is a birthday surprise supposed to be like? I know there are not many specific answers to this. Perhaps a surprise visit by some friends with a cake at 12 sharp or maybe a party organised at some uber place. But 2 freaks had something different in store for me. It all took form on the 22^nd of January, around 9 in the evening. I was having dinner when my mom got a call and she left the hall in a hush. Normally one would not do something like that unless there is something fishy. For a split second I reminisced the way my cousin had made a swift exit from the dining area of her house into a secluded place. Later I discovered it was her boyfriend who had called. I didn’t want to believe the same was the case with my mother for she has always been a loyal wife. Then it struck me that such irregular behaviour was perhaps a reflection of her planning a surprise for me. So I stopped eating, chased her to the other room but she disconnected the call. After a very heavy Pulav dinner, I decided to go for a walk with my ‘ancient’ pal Ankit. We strolled for more than an hour sharing our day’s experiences and about girls. My mom called, and summoned both of us home. We went and I found a big Rich Truffle lying on the table at 11:30. I didn’t want to think that was ‘the surprise’ she was planning for, cutting the cake half an hour earlier. So, I started looking around in the house for friends presuming they had come down. But there was no one around except for dad and bro. So I humbly cut the cake, they sung the birthday song and I thought that was it. But then, I got a call, from one freak, Vijal Patel. He had planned some game for me and it was to begin at that very instance. He instructed me about the game and I had to find a clue from my drawer and follow whatever was written in it. I didn’t understand what he was talking but just did what he asked to. All this came along with a strict set of instructions.

1. Neither to pick up any calls throughout the game nor to read any messages.

2. Not to take help of my brother and Ankit who were supposed to accompany me.

3. I had 5 lifelines to call Vijal and ask about the clue if I could not find or crack one, as each clue would lead to the next.

So the game had to begin. I removed the 1^st clue from the drawer as instructed, read it, touched my parents’ feet and changed my clothes to set out.

Clue 1: Go To The Place You Took Your 1^st Breath

I knew at once I had to go to the hospital. So I took my car keys and left with Ankit and my brother. Ankur hospital, the place where I was born, is just a couple of minutes’ drive from my place. So I went there. I searched and searched for the next clue but couldn’t find it. Then I decided to call up. The second freak picked up. Name, Sagar Shah. I asked him about the clue and just as he was about to utter I spotted a placard in a dark shadow of the hospital board.

Clue 2: You learnt A-Z, 1-100

I quickly got into the car and we drove off to my kindergarten, Dreamland School (which is now a bank). A placard was clearly visible on the entrance gate. I could envisage a smaller me running out of the school gate with a little water bottle. After all, this was the 1^st and the last institution where I stood 1^st , not only in my class but the whole school.

Clue 3: School Begins – History, Geography, Physics, and Math – Study Time

From Kandivali I rushed to Orlem, Malad to my school. This was the hardest place to find the clue. With the huge expanse of St. Anne’s High School, I didn’t know where to start searching for. I decided to go to the back gate. Checked all the trees, walls, the gate itself but couldn’t find the clue anywhere. Then covered the distance of 300 odd metres and went to the front gate. A huge dark ground with a massive church, and a scary cemetery. Where do I find the clue? With the kind of freaks who had staged the game I guessed the clue could even be buried inside a grave. Luckily the gate was open and we got in. I searched around looking in the bushes, on the church notice board and then near the cemetery entrance. Trust me; despite the kind of physical structure I possess, I couldn’t dare enter the cemetery at 12:27 in the night. Luckily I caught sight of the back of a notice board and found another placard.

Clue 4: Sweet 16 – T_A_U_ _O_ _ E _G_

I cracked it the moment I saw it, Thakur College, Kandivali (E). I didn’t want to leave school, my 10 years were right in front of my eyes, all the cries, laughs, exams, friends, playing cricket, seeing the ball in the cemetery in broad daylight and yet hoping someone else and not I will have to fetch it. Yet I had to leave for the present time. I reached college at 12:45 and got the clue rather easily from there. Best friend Afza came to mind, but had to leave again.

Clue 5: Lal Bharti – Fill Your Stomach Here (Translate in English)

So from Kandivali (E) I left for West, to my favourite food joint, Red Indian. I just wanted to grab some food but of course the hotel was shut. Ankit and bhai were also feeling hungry. Got the clue rather easily though.

Clue 6: Pumped Muscles With Bro For The 1^st Time

So, I had to go back to my area where I 1^st joined the gym with my cousin. Got the clue from there, easily again. A drunkard created some nonsense though. He abused me and asked me if I was Sonia Gandhi’s son to roam in the night, feeling important and looking for clues. I thought, ask the freaks, man.

Clue 7: Enjoy Watching Your Favourite Superstars Almost Every Week Here

So, from Malad (W) to Kandivali (E) to Kandivali (W) I had to now go to Malad Link Road. Phew. Movietime is where I watch most of the movies. It is the best and rather cheap. Some 8 huge dogs were sleeping around in the compound. We 3 had a tough time sneaking in. But I found the clue again, easily.

Clue 8: Cake Shop – E_E_N

Whoa, Malad se seedha Lokhandwala, at Eden’s cake shop. We got us a bottle of water, now assuming that the 2 freaks had planned a long night. Reached there at 1:23 a.m., but the shop was closed. I searched for the clue all around but to no avail. So, finally called up Vijal to use my 1^st lifeline. Actually, I was supposed to get the cake (paid for) from the shop along with the clue. But since I reached later than expected, Vijal told me about the next clue.

Clue 9: 23-01-09 You Saw A Millionaire

Last birthday, we had been to Fun Republic to watch Slumdog Millionaire, so I drove up. It was pitch dark and a few couples, holding hands, getting cozy, had just left from the late night show. The clue was stuck on a tree branch. I gathered it.

Clue 10: You Lost Matches Against 3 Top Class Gunners at Chandi Bitchy.

A few weeks back I had been to a beach with Vijal and his friends and his amazing London based cousin, Dupesh. We played football and my team lost. But terming himself as a ‘top class’ Gunner (Arsenal man), Vijal made me cackle. We drove upto Silver beach, Andheri. Now, having been there just once I did not remember the exact location, so struggled finding it, courtesy a few idiots who were as dumb as weasels, showed us the wrong ways. Finally I reached a beach of sorts at 1:45, only to discover it was not Silver beach. Two elderly men sitting in a rickshaw parked there got down and enquired us about the wandering. We assumed they were drunk and did not pay heed. To our horror they were policemen, dressed in civil clothing, tracking us all the way from the moment we entered the area. I told them about the incident with the drunkard and explained the game to them. They amiably helped us with the right way. Thanks to my cute brother, the policemen did not pester us. Felt safe and proud that they were doing their job so vigilantly. We reached the completely deserted and quiet Silver Beach only to discover that we had found the same lane right at the start but I was not certain.

Clue 11: Where You Walked The Ramp

We rushed to Bhaidas hall, Vile Parle, where I had walked the ramp in my 1^st year Bachelors with a few others, including Miss India 2009 Parvathy Omanakuttan (she was a final year student back then), for the SVKM festival, U-Wah. (Now come on don’t make me feel important!)I felt the heat, the flashlights, and the stage again, but had to get back to reality.

Clue 12: Where You Got Matured And Met The Best People – Hurray!

Well, if you are wondering which best people, I tell you, Vijal and Sagar were boasting about themselves, and a few other college mates. I reached my Management college (UPG, Parle), and at the gate I spent some time when all the memories of shooting the short film, fooling around with friends, preparing for presentations etc. flashed in front of my eyes at 400 frames/ second. Those were certainly the best days of my life.

Clue 13: You Got Fatter & Fatter Eating Mayonnaise Here

Well, that for a fact is true. The fast food available opposite Bhaidas is like a treat. I searched for the clue in complete darkness, could not find it for 15 minutes, called up Sagar to discover that it must have been ripped off by someone. So, I actually had not used up any hints by then. My bro, Ankit and I had a Mexican Roll from Ice n Rolls at 2:15. Gosh, they earn so much, work so much.

Clue 14: You Bought Your Playstation Discs From Here

Alfa was the place. Vijal and I frequently visited this place to check out the latest titles. I went there and found the placard.

Clue 15: Go To The Most Unique Bachcha’s House

Got it spot on the second I read it. I bet the UPG guys will also get it. It had to be Sagar, freak no.2. So, from Irla, I had to go to Andheri (E). I thought that would be the end of my long night. I reached bachcha’s place at almost 3. Before I could knock or ring the bell, the door flung open with a sleepy maid coming out to hand me another clue. That was some sight. I said sorry and left instantaneously.

Clue 16: Gunners House Welcomes You

That is supposed to be freak no.1’s house at Parle (E). I heaved a sigh of relief and nicely parked my car convinced enough that that was it. To my horror there was the watchman who handed me one more clue. Yes, another clue. It was 3:10 and I was clueless, puzzled about my final destination.

Clue 17: The Person From UPG Whom You Admire – Go To Her House For The Next Clue

UPG people know who she is, and yes she indeed is worth all the admiration, and even more. But this clue was a shocker, simply because 1, I did not know how I would show up at her house at 3:15 in the night, and 2, how she would react to it. By now you know what the freaks are capable of doing. I used my 1^st lifeline here since I was unaware about her building’s exact location. Vijal guided me as I drove and luckily they had hidden the clue at her building gate and not in her house.

Clue 18: Certified Best South Indian Food (R.K.)

I had a hunch before but now I was sure there had to be 21 clues. I reached Radha Krishnan at Parle (E) and grabbed the placard from opposite the restaurant.

Clue 19: The Station You Visited For 3 Years – Go And Pick Up Your Next Clue From Its Bridge

Now I had to go to the Parle station bridge. Imagine, 3:30 in the night, and I climbing bridges and searching for a stupid piece of paper. But I did so, rather anxiously.

Clue 20: You Saw Arsenal Vs Manchester United Here And Lost (Nasri It Was)

Okay, I support United. Unfortunately, that evening United lost to the Gunners, and Vijal and his London based cousins took the mickey out of me. This was U-Turn, a lounge of sorts at Khar, yes you read right, Khar(Station). From Parle (E) to Khar (W) station, well that was too much. 3:55 a.m., we reached U-turn. This was the place from where I got the final clue. The poor watchman was waiting for me all the while. He even forgot the name of the person to whom he was supposed to handover the placard. He remembered Rajesh, and I had to correct him. This placard was much bigger, a placard stuck on a huge black card paper. When I unfolded it, it read ….

Clue 21: Someone Is Waiting For You At Mannat

Yes, you guessed it right. King Khan, my lovely favourite Shah Rukh’s Mannat, the final destination. I cherished it when I read. But reaching the final destination was not easy. As they say, when you inch closer to your destination you face bigger tribulations. I don’t remember when and how in half sleep I drove to the Reclamation. Ankit and Nisarg were just laughing at me. We reached Bandstand at 4:45 where I saw a few uncles and aunties jogging around, in their tight track suits, all the flab bulging and bouncing. I parked my car outside Mannat, hoping to see the freaks but could not find them. I called up, Vijal spoke in a sleepy voice and in seconds he got his car there. Sagar and Vijal had gone off to sleep waiting for me to reach. They got down, wished me, hugged me and we chatted for almost 45 minutes. Although there was no cake to cut, we spent some excellent time. We left Bandstand at 5:30.

Wait, it is not over yet. You think it is so simple! Let me talk about the freaks. I called Vijal and Sagar freaks because they actually are, EMOTIONAL freaks, best freaks you can ever meet. They contacted my mom, (remember the hush?), took my brother around for assistance of places they were not familiar with, when I was out for the walk. Made placards and physically went to all the places that I was supposed to go to, made sure the placards were safe. Waited for me at Bandstand expecting I shall be there by 2. Poor guys spent some time at a hookah parlour which they had to leave at around 2:15 because it was closing. Their car tyre got punctured at 3, which they patched up. Were shooed away by the police patrolling Bandstand, waited sitting in the car for almost 2 long hours without having even a bit of food since 7 pm ( almost 10 hours if you’ve got calculation problems). They slept in the car awkwardly; all this for whom and what? To celebrate my birthday! Especially when freak 1 was in dreadful mood the whole day and freak 2 had to prepare and revise for his upcoming exams. Now don’t you think they’re really super duper freaks, lovely freaks, adorable freaks, freaks who plotted the game so meticulously that I could revisit the key points of my life and relive them, freaks who went to all extents and took great pains to bring in their mate’s birthday. I feel very proud when I say they’re my friends, special friends, my god sent pals and I’m lucky to have them around. They were wrong with clue no 12, they are not the best people, but they are outstandingly best, of paramount importance to me. They saw to it that the final destination was at Shah Rukh’s, whom I worship almost as God. Of course they made me feel important, even more than Mrs. Sonia Gandhi’s son (he’d be jealous of me, Rahul, if he reads this). Thus, I dedicate my 21^st to Sagar and Vijal. Love you freaks!!!!

Special thanks to my bro and Ankit, who did a great job of accompanying me throughout without a frown. Also, hearty thanks to Richa, Khyati and Bhagwat who made my birthday evening special with their presence. Pictures of the same can be viewed on my Facebook account. Would’ve lovedd to write about it too but as they say a picture is worth a thousand words.

The Girl I Loved

It was the monsoon of 2003 and as it drizzled outside I made my way into a coaching classroom full of chattering students of the 10^th grade. There were several new faces and a few familiar ones as well. I found a place to sit near my school pal. The teacher made her way in and we settled down. She hurriedly started off with the roll call which was to be followed by an introduction of the student whose number was called out. It was nice to know about the unknown ones but some of them were actually a turn off. The teacher called out ‘23’; the door of the class flung open and a feminine voice spoke ‘Yes ma’am’.

It was a typical entry like that of an actress in a movie who is late for class. At first, I couldn’t see who she was from where I was seated but as she moved in she was entirely visible. The girl standing there was fidgeting with her crimson bag and was trying to get her long semi wet hair off her face. A little rain droplet was trickling down her forehead and reached her brows, which were twitched with nervousness. She had big black almond eyes and a perfectly shaped nose with a larger bulging tip. Her cheeks were as pink as that of a Russian new born, and as plumper. Her clean face had an unimaginable glow.

‘Your name?’ the teacher enquired.

‘Vidhi, ma’am.’ She grinned.

The trickling droplet had now rolled down to the right side of the upper lip and was resting there. She was allowed late in class as it was the first day. Vidhi was dressed in a scarlet half sleeved top and a red and black polka dotted skirt with frills. She searched for a place to settle down and I only wished that she would sit next to me. But she didn’t. Throughout the span of the lecture my eyes rolled from a string of hair falling on her forehead to the Priyanka Chopra like pouted lips of hers. There was something about her, something that I’d never felt like even after looking at the ultimate beauties. At the end of the lecture the teacher asked Vidhi to introduce herself and she did so with admirable elegance.

I spent the 1^st week of the class by just looking at her in admiration. She sent out positive vibes that were good enough to make a dead lily alive. I felt refreshed and relaxed in her presence just like one feels when there is a fresh supply of oxygen in a suffocating closed room. More than the beauty, her innocence and simplicity attracted me. I tried to make an effort to sit next to her but somehow never got lucky. Unluckily, both I and Vidhi were separated by the division of the class in 2 batches for English, Math and Science because of new admissions, and the class wasn’t big enough to accommodate too many students. However, on the other hand, I considered myself lucky because we both were in the same class for Social Sciences which happened once a week. Every week I’d try talking to her and one fine day things fell in place and we spoke. It was a nice little conversation and slowly we got familiar to each other.

‘You know I’m not good with girls, I come from an all boys’ convent’. I told her.

‘And I’m from an all girls’ convent’. She replied.

I’d laugh about this to myself as we both were so shy and everything remained all so formal between us. My feelings continued to get stronger for her and I always had a gleam of hope that someday we would really know each other well, and something would spark off between us.

On the 5^th of September that year, our professor played a few games with us on the occasion of Teachers’ Day, when no one wanted to study. There was a couples’ game where we boys and girls had to act as quickly as possible as instructed by our professor and the slowest couple would get eliminated. I didn’t want to volunteer to play the game, however, when I saw Vidhi getting out of her seat I jumped out of my own hoping that we’d be chosen as a couple for the game. But to my distaste the professor gave her to another guy and I got another friend. Ironically, we were the 2 couples to reach the finals and I won but I wanted to win the game with Vidhi. Winning didn’t feel good as Vidhi was disappointed and I really felt bad for her. Nonetheless, we bonded well after the game finished.

Just a week later, I fell off the 1^st floor and got my leg fractured, and had to spend 2 days in the I.C.U. and 52 days on the bed. During this entire phase I would sometimes forget about my pain and I’d find myself in the class sitting beside Vidhi, talking to her, in my dreams. Surprisingly my feelings strengthened for her despite being away from her and that was the period when I first felt that I’d fallen in love. I knew it couldn’t be true, I thought that at the age of 14 it might be infatuation or at least I had heard people saying that teenage love is not real. Whatever it was, it was untainted.

When I got back to normal it was Diwali time so there was no scope of meeting up with my friends, and even Vidhi. The Social Sciences portion was almost over by the time I started going to the tutorial again. This left me barely any chance to meet her.

In no time the board exams were near and I’d not met her even once since my fracture days. I lamented about the fact that we didn’t have surnames with the same initials, which would have put us in the same exam centre. The board exams got over and we chose our own paths and there was no way I could contact her since there was no Facebook or Orkut back then. I was too gutless to ask for her number directly or from friends.

2 years passed by and I was unaware about her, what she was doing and where she lived. It was painful as I couldn’t even see her once in that entire period; 2years = 730 days = 17,520 hours of excruciating pain. My feelings for her had reached the peak and I knew it was love surely as I never felt the same for other girls assuming that I was cheating on Vidhi.

On the 26^th of December, 2005, I was with my friends when I spotted a much more beautiful and matured Vidhi, with her family at a mall and I went on and spoke to her. Most of the baby fat had vanished but I could still see the same innocence on her face. I couldn’t talk much and felt shy to ask for her number in her family’s presence. My heart was beating a thousand times faster and I just couldn’t take my eyes off her. My friend Tanya had a tough time urging me to make a positive and an effective move as she knew about Vidhi but all that went in vain. We had to go since we had booked tickets for a movie in the same mall and so it was time out for me.

I could see her in the actress throughout the movie and felt helpless and stupid for not asking her number. When I went back home I couldn’t concentrate on anything but her. I decided to vent my feelings about her in a letter conveying how much I loved her. On January 3, 2006 I wrote a 9 page long letter and always kept the letter in my wallet expecting that I’d bump into her someday and get lucky.

I met her at a local stationery shop in February but she was with her mother so couldn’t give her the letter. Then, 5 months later, I met her at a college where we both were filling up forms for our B.M.S. admissions. She was with a common friend Raj, and I had the letter with me, but I don’t know why I couldn’t pluck up the courage to just give away the letter. We spoke for nearly 10 minutes but I couldn’t just do it, chiefly in the presence of the friend. Vidhi couldn’t get into that college as she felt short of a few marks. This took away whatever hope was left.

3 months later we met incidentally at a restaurant. This time we both were with our own set of friends and I decided to hand over the letter come what may. I waved and approached her and as I went on to remove my wallet I reminisced that the letter got drenched in the bloody untimely rains 2 days back and was tattered. I cursed myself and felt like tearing my hair off and jumping off a cliff.

April 2008, I met Raj, we had a long chat about old times and I told him about Vidhi. He was shocked to hear that and told me that Vidhi had got into a relationship just a month back. It felt like a fully grown elephant had fallen on me from the sky or a million bullets shot from point blank range pierced my heart at once. I was totally devastated and felt alike my shredded letter.

I would consider myself a fool to blame Vidhi for whatever happened then and the things I went through, for she never knew about my feelings. I have only myself to blame, and probably the unfortunate events of my life. The story might have been different had I handed over the letter. But the fact that I could never give it to her will always haunt me. I will always regret the fact that I could not know her as much as I wished to. I hope she has a great life and enjoys every bit of it with lots of love to savour, and yes, she will for eternity be ‘The Girl I Loved’!!!!

P.S. : Forgive my mawkishness people, this is close to my heart.